People are creatures of habit. We seldom love unexpected changes – unless it’s a surprise coffee and pastry from your favourite bakery, or is that just me? I believe it’s safe to say that since the beginning of the pandemic a lot of people have been experiencing a lot of feelings; anxiety, worry, fear of getting sick, losing your job, losing a loved one, sadness. It’s okay to be feeling those things – the world has been in a perpetual state of anticipation and uncertainty for months now. 

There’s an age-old phrase that was told to me once by a former mentor, it boils down to something I am almost certain we’ve all heard at one point or another; I may not be able to control a situation, but I can control how I react to it. The world is in a pandemic, you can’t control the situation but you can control how you respond to it.  

In order to control how we respond to something we first need to know what we’re feeling. According to the Harvard Business Review, the discomfort a lot of people are feeling in the current world climate is grief. Anticipatory grief refers to grief associated with the future and uncertainty in it.  It is usually felt with loss but it can also apply to more broad and ambiguous situations, such as the current pandemic we’re facing. The idea that a small virus is impacting the entire world is a powerful stressor that can create worry and mental strain; it creates anticipatory grief. 

The question is how do we change how we respond to a situation that evokes these types of feelings? The answer is in the present, in accepting the situation. With acceptance, we can take a step back, and look at the present. Look at factors that we can control and develop strategies to help ourselves better manage these visceral emotions. 

Affirmations are a powerful tool to help ground and centre yourself. We can all practice some simple ones during these uncertain times to help us feel more in control of our emotions and eventually our situation. These are a few of my favourite COVID-19 pandemic affirmations:

1. I can wear my mask 

2. I can maintain 6 feet from others

3. I can wash my hands and use hand sanitizer whenever possible

4. I can do my part to help reduce the spread of COVID-19 to end this pandemic

It’s important to remember that we can’t control everything but we can control what we do! Adapting to change is challenging but with some help we can handle this new normal a little easier. Here are some tips to help you build emotional resilience so that you can handle uncertainty and change a little bit easier. 

1. Be kind to yourself – “You’re your own worst critic” so instead of being your own critic, try reframing your narrative by treating your situation as if it was your best friend. What advice would you give them if they were experiencing what you are? 

2. Control what you can – Don’t zone in on what you can’t control. Find the things you can control and focus on those. It doesn’t have to be something complex, it can be as small as what you’re having for dinner or what shirt you want to wear. By doing this, it brings your focus into the present and to smaller situations that you can control. 

3. Perspective is everything – We often focus on the perspective that is challenging and has a negative connotation. Instead of that, try shifting your words and perspective. If we change our thoughts it can help us change how we feel about a situation and the actions we take to address it.  Instead of social distancing try physical distancing and depending on where in the world you are and your government’s public health regulations that could mean you can spend time with friends, it would just have to be at an appropriate distance.

4. Love yourself – Self-care is important. It may seem like we’ve had a little too much self-care these past few months but that doesn’t mean we should let stress stop us from doing an activity that brings us joy, or engaging in activities that are beneficial to our overall health. In these times, practicing self-care is key! Whether it is going for a walk, trying a new recipe, talking to a friend, or watching a movie – these activities are very important to our mental health. 

5. Ask for help – If you’re having a hard time managing your stress it's okay to ask for help. Less than half of Canadians are experiencing excellent mental health right now. We’re all in this situation that is filled with uncertainty and stressors. It’s even more important now to look after your mental health – there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. We all need help at some point in our lives. 

I know there’s no perfect formula for how to deal with uncertainty, because if we had it I would share it.  Whether you’re feeling stressed about going to work or you’ve got children at school, we’ve got tips that you may find useful. Just remember that we’re all experiencing these intense emotions like anxiety and uncertainty in these times. That being said, be kind to those around you because there’s a good chance that they’re feeling something similar to what you are. Don’t forget to take a moment for you today and #findyourtranquility